Dislikes

You know how when you fill out a personality related questionnaire it always has that section asking what are your interests/likes? I wish that it asked what are your dislikes. I think you can tell a lot more about a person by the things they don't like than by the things they like because if someone leaves something out on the standard form you don't know if they don't like it or if they just forgot that they do and left it out. Now if we all wrote down things we do NOT like then you will know to avoid that crazy person that puts down...puppies. I mean, who doesn't like puppies? Serial killers, that's who.

Here is a list of items I don't like: banana flavored candy (love bananas!), cats (outside of a barn), people who don't know 4-way stop etiquette/law (don't wave me through, you were there first...just go!), pretty much everyone from New Jersey and a good amount of New York (sorry guys, your accents give me a headache), hot weather (unless I'm on the lake water skiing...it could snow on the way home for all I care), convertible cars, terrorists, country music produced after 1992, litterbugs, pink colored cars, dumb and misinformed liberals (or really, all dumb and misinformed people), invasion of my personal space, when Daisy barks as soon as we get settled into a movie (happens EVERY time, its almost funny now), being woke up early on a Saturday only to be asked, "what time are you getting up?" (my mom used to do this, hasn't happened in a while), going to any type of doctor, flying commercially (to tall for the seats and I ALWAYS am sent down the "you look like a terrorist-line"), round bowl toilets, rap music, small dogs, walking through spiderwebs, running downhill, red lights, dirty vehicle interiors, dry clean only clothes (its just never gonna get cleaned), tourists from Ohio (if you've ever been to Norris Lake or driven through the touristy areas of TN you know what I'm talking about), when my wife talks in her fake Wisconsin accent, splinters, churches that use the Bible as a cafeteria (take what you want, leave the parts you don't like), the P90X program, Mazda Miatas and the people that drive them, speaking in public, people with AGS (attention getting syndrome), non-recyclers (yeah, I'm talking to you!), people who act/say they are "green" because they think its cool or it advantages their business in some way (just do it because its responsible & right), people who don't rack their weights at the gym (I've got a whole list of gym etiquette pet peeves), bullies and people who take advantage of others, buying anything above at least 70% off, watches that don't keep time (why I'm still sporting the Timex Ironman Triathlon - and always will), a dull knife, chapped lips, Texas, computer problems, when Christmas time ends, sand, tables to low to the ground to get my legs under, mice, Comcast, when I start worrying about money or anything else, picking up a pen that is out of ink (throw it away already), Nickleback, rusty bolts that are stuck, and Hillery Clinton.

I know what you're thinking, "Man, this guy doesn't like anything, especially people of all sorts!", and you know, you're right, but you know what I do like: Puppies.