Stacking Glasses

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Finishing Strong

Its coming down to the wire. We have entered the final trimester (cue Rocky IV themesong Final Countdown) and my thoughts have finally changed from nervous to excitement. I used to be scared to death that a kid would walk up to me and call me "Dad", but now I look forward to it (jk-ing here folks, sorry honey, I know you're shaking your head right now). Everyone told us that these 9 months would fly by. I'm sure here in a year or two I will say the same thing to my friends that are in this same situation but for me time has moved much the same as it always has.

We have done a lot during the past few months: one family beach vaca, one with friends, one trip to DC, one room overhaul, another trip to a Young Life camp as "adult guests", two multi-day backpacking trips (me only of course), a summer on the lake (albeit not enough times out), a full UT football season, the beginning of a basketball season (go Blue Devils & Vols), Yegi gained tenure (Congratulations!), I didn't get laid-off (Wa-hoo!), 7 baby showers (yes, SEVEN), 22 pounds gained by Yegi (thus far), 15 by me (thus far!), 10 hormonal temper-tantrums (and Yegi wasn't happy when I screamed either...), a major budget change (good luck Nama, see you in 5-10), 5 trips to the hospital with 8 overnight stays (sorry Cigna Insurance), 1.5 months of bedrest(thank you friends for all the meals, visits, TV show season dvd's), 3 weeks of Labor & Delivery classes(which included more video of lady business than I ever wanted to see), Thanksgiving and hopefully Christmas with our families.

We are heading into the Christmas 09 weekend and Yegi is doing her best to keep River swimming. Although I'm a little worried she might try and have him early just for the sake of entertainment. Her bed rest has been unenjoyable for the both of us (more for her). Being able to do nothing for yourself is not as fun as it sounds especially when your "helper" does not do things the way you want them too. I have been trying to mimic Yegi's procedure for each task she normally performs but realized early on that my college habit of not paying attention until it matters has carried on into my married life. Needless to say, we are both excited about her coming off bed rest and I am especially looking forward to have someone to play with...

Inappropriate Comments

I work for an engineering/construction company. Most of my time (up until the last 6 months) has been spent in the "field" working on a job site. I don't know how many of you have worked in the construction industry or know much about it but it has the reputation of being a somewhat rough environment. The work itself is rough in nature but more than that the people who perform this work are a crotchety group. When I started I fit in pretty well with the work part of the job, but my personality was not up to par with my coworkers (I know, many of you might be surprised). Over the years I have picked up some unwanted habits and personality traits from my surrounds. One of these traits that I had before hand but was sharpened in the field was that of making inappropriate comments. I'm not proud of this skill set, but I am good at it. This whole intro leads into a story...

One of the superintendents (we'll call him "Umberto") that I started my career with is a younger married guy. His wife also started working for the company as a project controller a year or so ago. I developed a friendly relationship with both of them because they remind me a lot of my family (sense of humor, personality, even their physical appearance is somewhat similar).

A few months ago the woman (we'll call her "Sally") was getting ready to have her second child. Her first child, a boy, was a 10+ pound baby. This was not a surprise because the both of them are big people and from what I've been told come from big families. Now when I say "big" I do not mean "FAT", I mean they are both tall and are not small boned(the husband was a college football player, if that makes it easier to envision). Well, when the second child came due "Sally" looked like she was either having twins or having the worlds largest baby. I, along with others in the office joked with her about this because she had a good sense of humor and told us about the doctors visits where they would tell her the child was on his way to being a 12 lb baby at birth. They scheduled a C-section and she went on maternity leave the day before the procedure.

That same day the company put a card up front for everyone to sign that congratulated her on the birth of her new son. Me being the person that I am, I hate writing "Congratulations" or "Happy Birthday!" and then just signing my name below it in the card. I try and make every comment memorable so that people don't read it and think "Thanks jackass's for the generic card" (at least that's what I think about those cards just before they hit the bottom of the trash can). So in "Sally's" card I wrote, "You know what else weighs 12 lbs? A Thanksgiving turkey. Congratulations, Chris." Knowing "Sally" & "Umberto" I could see them laughing when they read the card and I myself laughed out loud (or LOL for you kids) as I finished the comment.

Fast forward to today: Sally walked in to my office (its more like a work area that I share (unimportant)) and said, "I just wanted to tell you I would not have though your comments were "inappropriate" and I'm sorry you were reprimanded for them." Thouroughly confused, I asked her what the heck she was talking about? She then told me the story about the card getting confiscated/destroyed and how a new one was sent around the office secretly to be signed by everyone but me and that I was supposed to of been set down with the OM to talk about my "inappropriate comments". I told her that I did not know of any of this and that I was now very embarrassed. She reassured me that when she found out about the first card she LMAO or I guess, LHerAO and when she told "Umberto" he did the same. I guess it all worked out in the end and in the best way possible. I never knew there was a problem.

On a final thought...I'm not so much embarassed of my comments but more the fact that I'm "that guy". I'm the one who makes the inappropriate comments!?... Oh well, I guess you've got to be known for something.

The Magic Eraser

A few months ago Yegi had an accident in which her car, the VW Jetta (more affectionately known as the Jedi Knight) was totalled. A young girl was on her cell phone and pulled out into a four lane without looking and Yegi could not avoid the T-bone that ensued. Thankfully, Yegi was not hurt badly even though her car looked rough (see picture).

The next day I started scouring Craigslist & ebay for a used "new" vehicle. A month or so later I found a good looking VW Touareg in our price range. The vehicle was in Georgia so I took the day off and drove down with my cousin to check it out. After a little haggling we came back with the Treg. Yegi loved it and still does.

Yegi has never been the best driver, nor does she claim to be. She does promise me that she always pays attention to where she is going and limits distractions while driving (no texting, cell phone only in emergencies, eyes on the road). Unfortunately, Friday I found that this is not true...

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I came home after a rough day at work and Yegi had a guilty look on her face. After asking her whats wrong a few times she finally told me she had "messed up". Messing up was Yegi's way of saying, "I was pulling in the garage and the dogs came up to the fence so I hung my head out the window and was talking to them and not looking where I was going (while still moving) and scratched the passenger side of my car." -Oh, you mean the side of the car that every time I see you pull in you just barley miss the wall with and I cringe and when I start to tell you I get stopped by the, "Chris, I've been driving since I was 16, I think I know what I'm doing" excuse... Umm...Yeah, that side.

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I couldn't stay mad long when she looked at me with tears in her eyes and told me how she tried to open the door and push it out from the inside and when that wasn't possible she tried to use a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to "wipe" it off. It was at this time that I realized that we will never own a family run body shop. It wasn't a "scratch" so much as it was the carnage left from what looked like a garden tiller on the door. Nothing a "Magic Eraser" would fix. By the way, please don't ever use a Magic Eraser on your vehicles paint, they have bleach in them which is not good on car paint or the spots where it was gouged off.

For now we are just going to live with the damage because it does not hurt the functionality of the vehicle and hopefully will serve as a reminder to Yegs. Besides, after watching Yegi pull in the garage last night I'm sure it it won't be long until the house shakes again...

Mom, what are those old guys doing?

In an effort to stay (get back to being) physically fit I play tennis and run with a good friend of mine that happens to live in my neighborhood. Neither one of us are particularly good tennis players but we do know the rules and enjoy playing. We keep score (at the time of writing this I'm up by quite a few games) and many times make friendly wagers on the game.

Some examples of wagers might be: Win one set and you owe a cheese dip at El Charro, win two sets and its a whole dinner. Yes, I understand that betting high fat foods tends to counteract the reason for playing, but why else would two overweight twenty something guys get together to play tennis? (Other than being gay -- cough, Will)

Tuesday night we headed over to the courts we usually play on to find that they were full, so we headed down to campus only to find that these courts were even more full (evidently the freshmen class of 09 has a lot of tennis players). Last resort was the Tyson Park "Tennis Center" which ended up being a winner and after the set...so was I.


Sizemore, the trash talker that he is proclaimed after the match, "I wish there was somewhere we could run the forty." Why, I asked? "Because I would spank you!" Well, I've never been one to back down from a challenge so I suggested we put our tennis stuff up and head down to an open set of courts and race. After putting our stuff up we went down to the courts where I set a one minute timer on my phone and when the buzzer went off we sprinted to the last line on the three courts (about 60-70 yards). Right before the buzzer went off I started thinking about what the people on all the other courts would be thinking about the old fat guys stretching and looking like they might race. Much to their surprise (and enjoyment) we did, although from a distance it probably looked like we were walking briskly. After 60 yards of embarrassment I pulled out a slight lead over Sizemore and subsequently celebrated my win.

The most embarrassing part of this whole ordeal was the fact that my hamstrings were sore for a week after the race.

The most important part: I won and I'll be eating free cheese dip soon.

Lets play the name game

It's a boy! Those three words (actually 4 if you break down the contraction) have wreaked havoc in our house since they were said.

First of all, I lost, which is never fun. Especially if your wife is very good at not letting you forget those times that you loose...or more importantly, that she wins. Since we found out that Yegi was pregnant I have said "It's a girl". I think Yegi's favorite quote of mine from the past twenty weeks came when she asked me how I could be so sure that it was a girl. I replied, "Yegi, some people think things and some people KNOW things." I am a very strongly opinionated person and have mastered the art of making a decision and sticking with it until the end. If anyone is taking excuses I will say that I used somewhat of a "snow theory" when picking a gender. The "snow theory" started about 10 years ago when it quit snowing in Tennessee. I love snow, cold weather, etc., and every winter I hope for blizzards of the light fluffy. Since the last good snow we had was in 1993 I tell myself (and others) that "its not going to snow this year". It's a little bit of reverse psychology against mother nature. If she surprises me with snow, well, its a welcome surprise and if she does not then I don't get my feelings hurt. Yes I lost, point Yegi, but your name has an Asterisk next to it in the record book (if there was one).

We find out its a boy and I am super excited even though I had pretty much talked myself into wanting a girl the past 20 weeks with a diligent snow theory campaign (see above). It was also much easier for me to imagine what a little girl that came from Yegi and I would look like. I imagined (and really, really hoped) that she would look just like Yegi. I mean, can you imagine a little girl that looks like me or even worse...has my size (I can see the circus posters now). Its a boy so no worries about Barnum & Bailey calling. When the Sonar tech (I know its not sonar, but I can't remember the real name and Sonar sounds way cooler anyway...they use it on submarines) said in a very monotone way (probably normal vocal level but I was expecting some more emphasis, possibly some confetti, at least silly string), "Its a boy" Yegi was very ecstatic (mostly because she was right) and I was relieved because the wait was finally over. We know what it is and now we can just throw it on autopilot until he makes his appearance. BUZZER SOUND...Wrong! Lets play the name game...

I'm expecting to come home, sit on the couch, and maybe do some talking about how we are having a boy and the neat things about that. Nope, Yegi wanted to name the baby before the sun went down. She has carried a list of names that she started in high school up until about 3 weeks ago when Chaco ate it (literally...I think he was jealous, although he also ate a couple of covers off Yegi's books and as far as I know he didn't have anything against the authors?). So this day was the culmination of everything she has ever wanted and it was baby naming time! I'm more the procrastinate until the last possible moment, make a decision on the fly, and stick with it kind of guy. They say opposites attract but the only thing that was attracted to me after that conversation were things that were light enough to be thrown, but heavy enough to hurt. A couple days later when the threat level was down to Defcon 3 we started talking about names again and decided on one. I really didn't want to do this because I actually liked the name and I know Yegi will either talk herself out of it or over-analyze it until we cannot use it anymore, but if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! Baby name, check.

Yesterday we had the Young Life table host dinner so I came home early (...actually on time) so we could make it out to the dinner location. I walk in the door and no more than three minutes later Yegi starts asking me how I like these different names she is saying. I'm a little confused because I'm still looking at the imaginary list in my head that says...Baby name, check. Evidently she talked herself out of the decided upon name and now we were Baby name, unchecked. Me, not learning well from mistakes and past experiences did not get excited with this new development and soon I became a magnet for flying objects once again (pregnancy hormones are way overrated). Around 9 pm things finally got down to threat level orange with the help of a couple apologies about not being as "excited" about the new names.

I'm not really sure if the kid has a name or if we floated it down the River, but I do know one thing. Next time a certain someone wants to play the name game I'll be the first one in.

Dislikes

You know how when you fill out a personality related questionnaire it always has that section asking what are your interests/likes? I wish that it asked what are your dislikes. I think you can tell a lot more about a person by the things they don't like than by the things they like because if someone leaves something out on the standard form you don't know if they don't like it or if they just forgot that they do and left it out. Now if we all wrote down things we do NOT like then you will know to avoid that crazy person that puts down...puppies. I mean, who doesn't like puppies? Serial killers, that's who.

Here is a list of items I don't like: banana flavored candy (love bananas!), cats (outside of a barn), people who don't know 4-way stop etiquette/law (don't wave me through, you were there first...just go!), pretty much everyone from New Jersey and a good amount of New York (sorry guys, your accents give me a headache), hot weather (unless I'm on the lake water skiing...it could snow on the way home for all I care), convertible cars, terrorists, country music produced after 1992, litterbugs, pink colored cars, dumb and misinformed liberals (or really, all dumb and misinformed people), invasion of my personal space, when Daisy barks as soon as we get settled into a movie (happens EVERY time, its almost funny now), being woke up early on a Saturday only to be asked, "what time are you getting up?" (my mom used to do this, hasn't happened in a while), going to any type of doctor, flying commercially (to tall for the seats and I ALWAYS am sent down the "you look like a terrorist-line"), round bowl toilets, rap music, small dogs, walking through spiderwebs, running downhill, red lights, dirty vehicle interiors, dry clean only clothes (its just never gonna get cleaned), tourists from Ohio (if you've ever been to Norris Lake or driven through the touristy areas of TN you know what I'm talking about), when my wife talks in her fake Wisconsin accent, splinters, churches that use the Bible as a cafeteria (take what you want, leave the parts you don't like), the P90X program, Mazda Miatas and the people that drive them, speaking in public, people with AGS (attention getting syndrome), non-recyclers (yeah, I'm talking to you!), people who act/say they are "green" because they think its cool or it advantages their business in some way (just do it because its responsible & right), people who don't rack their weights at the gym (I've got a whole list of gym etiquette pet peeves), bullies and people who take advantage of others, buying anything above at least 70% off, watches that don't keep time (why I'm still sporting the Timex Ironman Triathlon - and always will), a dull knife, chapped lips, Texas, computer problems, when Christmas time ends, sand, tables to low to the ground to get my legs under, mice, Comcast, when I start worrying about money or anything else, picking up a pen that is out of ink (throw it away already), Nickleback, rusty bolts that are stuck, and Hillery Clinton.

I know what you're thinking, "Man, this guy doesn't like anything, especially people of all sorts!", and you know, you're right, but you know what I do like: Puppies.

Where is my underwear?

So a quick funny story...

I went to the gym Tuesday and had a pretty decent workout but the real excitement came when I finished my shower. I went to pull out my boxxers and realized that when I loaded my gym bag in the dark I didn't notice that Yegi had accidentally rolled her sleeping shorts (plaid in color like my shorts) up with my underwear. Needless to say they wouldn't fit and I had to Commando it back to the house.

-- Having A Baby -- First Timers

I really don't know what to say about having a baby other than it scares the crap out of me 80% of the time. The other 20%... I'm asleep or thinking about cars. I'm just going to let you in on some of the thoughts and happenings since we saw two lines.


Day 1: I was working (see fiddle/farting) in the basement when Yegi came running down the stair with tears in her eyes screaming. My first thought was "dang it, I've only been down here an hour and I've got to get the boat running if we're going to the lake this weekend!". Then she started screaming for me to come upstairs and look at something in the bathroom...I've heard this before so I knew that no matter what she wanted to show me it wouldn't be something I wanted to see.


Sure enough, it was positive and I felt the blood fall from my head and I needed somewhere to sit...back to the basement. Gave Yegi a quick hug and a "congratulations/that's cool" type comment and went back to work wiring the ignition (which, by the way is not a good idea when your thoughts are preoccupied, I spent the next week trying to fix what I screwed up). Fortunately I'm pretty good about just not thinking about things that are scary/disturbing/unknown. So the week went by normally until I saw my sisters kids.


So my sisters oldest child J. is a holy terror. He runs around, screams, throws things, asks a million questions to which I have no answers (why?, I don't know J, it just does. Why? God made it that way. Why? He just did. Why?) and pretty much doesn't listen to anyone. Her little girl Addalee is perfect though, she just sits, smiles, looks pretty, eats when told, sleeps when told, and never complains. That's it we're having a girl, screw the namesake.


Its been about two weeks, we haven't seen a doctor yet and Yegi is dying to tell someone. We agreed we weren't going to tell until we see the doc and they say that everything looks good (however that can be since she has a freaking person GROWING inside her). Everyday Yegi tells me how I should be SO proud of her because she hasn't said a thing to her mother or sister, never mind that they all went to eat together at Nama (she knows she can't eat sushi) and Yegi pronounced that she cannot have anything raw even though she loves sushi. They didn't catch on here but certainly did when we sent out cards to our mother/sisters saying happy Grandmother/Aunt day and Yegi called her mom to tell her to make sure and be at home and to check the mail as soon as it came. Your a steel trap honey, a real bank vault, but I love you anyway.

More good news came when we found out that Emily Jenkins is pregnant and a couple weeks behind Yegs, then came Devan & Erin Accardi three weeks after them, and the most recent is Paige & Peter. So we're building up a good support group (I think we should all get leather vests with a club patch and tattoos - Babies O-10! - or at least an airbrushed T-shirt)! Matt is really trying to get he and SB on the train, so far his bribes are not working but I've been coaching him in the art of persistence (also, try the vest thing, Sara is into fashion after all?).

Fast forward a couple months and Yegi is officially in her second Trimester and now looks like she is having a baby (or twins). This baby is going to be huge! I was 9lb 7oz and Yegi was 7lbs something so i can only figure this baby is going to be around 16lbs (9+7=16).

Just before Yegi crossed the second trimester mark it occurred to me that I'm excited about this new addition. I'm not scared (in the meantime) anymore. It just hit me while I was driving back from the gym one night that I can't control this and that's okay. God is in control and he usually(always) has a better plan than I. I'm not saying that I will stop wishing Yegi would live in a big impervious bubble for the next 5.5 months or that I will unload/disarm all my weapons and countermeasures (Chaco is becoming more protective), but I am learning to let some things ride.

We find out what its going to be in a couple weeks and its a split decision...Yegi says boy, I say girl. As long as its a healthy one or the other I'll be happy.


...but its a girl.

Stay classy San Diego

OBX

-- Outer Banks, NC

Last week Yegi and I went to the Outer Banks with a group of friends. Matt & Sara Beth graciously invited us and 10 others to stay at Sara's parents beach house. When I heard beach house I thought shantee and hammocks (which would be fine with me), but this was more like a beach Lodge. Yegi, Andrew, Emily, and I shared a room of bunk beds which took me back to the days of sleeping on Yegi's old bunk bed at her parents house where I had to pull the mattrass into the floor to be able to fit (head off top, feet off bottom) to sleep.

The whole trip was like a trip down memory lane: Matt, Andrew, Andy, and I, who were roomates in college all rode down together in Andy's company fueled company car. Ford Escapes are not the best vehicle for 6'-4"/225lb guys, but we made the 9-hr trip with little complaints and one pull over from the police 10 mins from our destination.

Background: We went to Folly Beach a.k.a. Charleston, SC two weeks prior and the entire time I was there all I really wanted to do was surf, but I was a pansey and didn't want to do it alone and Will (sister-in-law's b/f) didn't make that trip. The waves were perfect and there were hundreds of people surfing, looked like a lot of fun! Fast Forward to the OBX trip: I have a tendency of getting something in my head and not letting it go. So I wanted to surf and I made sure Andrew, Matt, and Andy knew it. They finally agreed on the 100(0)th time I brought it up. So we rented a couple Lincoln Towncar length longboards and hit the waves. First day was something I have never experienced...I paddled, swam, pulled myself on the bottom sand, jumped over, under, and through waves and NEVER got past the breakers! I tried multiple times throughout the day including my last time at 8pm that night. I tried until it got dark when my arms gave up after seeing that I was still only 15yrds offshore. Strongest currents I have ever encountered and waves that had no lapse in between them.

Next morning was a different story. Paddled out past the breakers and caught my first wave (on a surfboard). It was 3 seconds of bliss. Did this until my nipples bled (literally). Now I know why surfers all wear rash guard shirts in the water. I threw a T-shirt on for the second half of the day and we had a good time. I'm pretty much a pro now and am thinking about changing my name to Kelly Slater (only pro surfer I know).

Other than surfing my favorite part of this trip was the food. I love food and it loves me. The girls did a great job of keeping us all fed that week. I think everyone had a great time on this much needed vacation. The girls that are teachers went back to work the Monday after returning and I know this was a good final trip for my little teacher.

The Booth's are selling the beach house so I propose next years trip be a cold weather location. Hey Matt, Andrew, Andy...I've been looking into heli-sking, I really want to do it and I think you guys would love it. Don't worry, I'll get you the info!

This was my first ever "Blog", hope it was interesting enough to of published...