Cole Family Free Press: He's Doomed

Our beautiful baby boy is now four months old. He is growing out of control and has become very aware of what is going on. He has mastered the art of rolling over from back and front to the corresponding opposite face. His motor skills have developed so that he now can grab just about anything within a 12-inch radius of his face including but not limited to: hair, cheeks, ears, noses, eyelids, lips, sunglasses, earrings. Say goodbye to the days of the easily broken infant grip and hello to the Chuck Norris/Stallone in cliffhanger death grip. He prefers to stand when given the choice and will “walk” if you let him. His personality is really starting to show through and he is a blast to hang out with…really.

Things are finally starting to get back to normal around the house too. No, the bathroom is not finished, stop asking/wondering, I will let everyone know as soon as it’s completed, trust me. Our house is becoming ever so filled with Fisher Price merchandise to the dismay of our dwindling baby fund. In our extremely small living room alone we have: A Johnny Jump Up, Two types of stationary seats (one that looks like a bunny? that Yegi had to have because it was “cute” and matched everything else in his room and the other one that River likes), a “tummy time” station complete a hand quilted blanket from our lovely friend Michelle Huch and an assortment of toys/learning devices, and a barnyard play system that is pretty much the same size as one of those wooden garden sheds you can buy out on Ashville Highway but it takes many more batteries. I knew this would happen so it is really not much of a surprise and hasn’t caused any sleepless nights.

Something that has caused sleepless nights for Yegi in the beginning and myself as of late…the fear that River is not going to sleep well at night. Kind of hard to understand? Let me explain. Yegi has one overwhelming fear about the raising of this young man, that he will not nap well enough during the day to sleep well at night. You see, babies tend to sleep better/longer at night when they have napped for long periods during the day. This makes absolutely no sense the us commoners who know that if we sleep during the day it will undoubtedly cause us to be up at night counting sheep, but babies are different. For this reason my lovely wife who is normally laid back (somewhat…okay, not really, she is actually a raging ball of nervous nerves) has become affectionately known as the Nap Nazi and I am awoken to a crying wife many a night.

It happens pretty much the same every night. River begins to hit that “fussy time” around 6:45/7:00pm which is my queue to start bath time. Bath time is fun and he loves being naked (I foresee problems in 15 years) and splashing around in the water. We are usually done with bath time by about 7:15/7:30pm and I hand him off to Yegi who rubs various paste’s, cream’s, and lotion’s on him before dressing him in his PJ’s. This leads to his favorite time of the day…Dinner time (a man after my own heart) and then I put him to bed around 7:45/8:00pm. After all this we finally get to sit down together and either hang out on the porch talking or watching one of the various shows we TiVo but never have enough time to watch. I love this time of the night but it is always short lived because Yegi starts getting tired (aka – nervous he is not going to sleep well) around 9pm and heads off to bed. We have talked and talked about getting her to relax and not worry because River is sleeping very well and is really not a hard baby to deal with.

Me, on the other hand, am very laid back. I keep telling Yegi, “Honey, its okay if he doesn’t nap exactly on schedule, don’t worry about it.” Of course I’m usually not getting up in the middle of the night to rock River back to sleep. There is one thing that keeps me awake at night (not literally, I sleep like a rock no matter what is going on), I am always worried about River’s health & safety. It makes me very uncomfortable to let River go somewhere he could contract an illness or could be injured on the way…which is pretty much everywhere. It took me three months to break down and finally let Yegi take him to our Health Clubs’ nursery. When I did tell her it was okay to go I asked that she meet anyone who would come into contact with him and memorize their names, experience, and to evaluate whether she thinks they are qualified/healthy enough to care for him. I still don’t want him riding in a motor vehicle with anyone other than his mom or me. Luckily none of his friends have got their licenses yet so we haven’t had any arguments. If it were not for my job I probably wouldn’t even want him riding with Yegi. I mean, she doesn’t have the best track record (see Magic Eraser).

Since Yegi is so afraid of the naps she has decided she “has to be at home” for River to sleep. This mixed with the fact that I am on edge every time they get in the car to go somewhere has led me to believe that River is doomed when it comes to having a relaxed outlook on life. Hopefully one day he will understand where we are coming from just like I now understand how my mom was probably feeling when I was his age. Who am I kidding, my mom let me stay at home alone at age four without a care in the world. Maybe we will venture towards that mentality over the coming month, or maybe I will build that moat I’ve always wanted… Until then here are a few pictures of our four month old.